The Epidemiology, Manifestations, Consequences, Treatment Options, and Diagnostic Controversy of Sexual Addiction (Part 2)
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Addicts can squander an astonishing sum of money and time on their inclinations, completely deficient in the capability to control it. They habitually undergo a nearly ‘trance-like’ state during which their actions can go on for many hours.
Similar to other addictions, some addicts go through ‘episodic binges’ (between these binges they may well believe they are completely normal), some others may endure more of a continuous level of the crisis. There are some sexual addicts who move back and forth in opposite end of the continuum, engaging in sexual anorexia, where they repress their tendencies in a manner so that they have absolutely no sexual experiences.
This is in no way a cure for the basic compulsion nor is it an effective manner of control, but, like food addictions is plainly one more symptom of the addiction. Some sexual addicts operate in more intrusive ways or advance to them as they go through diminishing "highs" for their unusual activities. Patrick Carnes PhD. maintains that explicit activities do not identify addiction, “it is the compulsive nature of the behaviors that demonstrates addiction”. Addicts often attempt to stop, but fail. Their behavior generally conforms to a cycle:
1. Preoccupation
2. Ritualization
3. Compulsive sexual behavior
4. Despair
In order to get rid of negative feelings the addict almost immediately happens to become engrossed with sexual thoughts again, resuming the ‘addictive cycle’. Patrick Carnes theorizes that the cycle begins with the "Core Beliefs" which addicts ‘knows’ to be true. Such as; "I am basically a bad, unworthy person. " "No one would love me as I am. " "My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others. " "Sex is my most important need. " These attitudes impel the obsession in its advancement and eventual destructive course.
First a “pain agent” activates emotional discomfort (e. g. shame, unresolved conflict) the sex addict is incapable of dealing with the pain agent in an emotionally healthy manner. Before resorting to sexually behavior, the sex addict goes through a phase of mental obsession/preoccupation. They disassociate (moving away from his/her feelings). Thus a division starts between the mind and the emotional self. Once this ‘disconnect’ takes hold, the addict becomes pre-occupied with acting out behaviors. The reality of the situation becomes blocked out and distorted.
Preoccupation, or in other words "sexual pressure" means that the addict is consumed about being sexual or romantic. Consequently ‘fantasy’ turns into a fixation that serves to avoid life. ‘Thinking about sex and planning out’ how to reach orgasm can continue for minutes or hours before moving into the next stage of the cycle. These fixations are strengthen and reinforced through ‘ritualization’ or acting out. A sex addict may for example, go to a strip show to heighten arousal until he/she is ‘beyond the point of saying no’. This helps detach reality from sexual obsession. Once the addict is in the midst of the ritual, there is very little hope of stopping that cycle.
The subsequent stage of the cycle is sexual compulsivity or "sex act". Tensions felt by addict diminished and for the short term they feel better, due to the release that occurs. Compulsivity merely signifies that addict regularly gets a pint where sex becomes unavoidable, no matter what the consequence.
After the compulsive act there may be realization and acknowledgement that the addict has become nothing more than ‘a slave to the addiction’. And the addict launches into feelings of shame and despair. ‘The last time the Addict was at this low point, they probably promised to never do it again’.
Etiology of the condition
Although there is no singular causation of sexual addiction, studies have shown that a high percentage of sexual addicts were abused by someone during their childhood. According to Sex & Love Addiction, Treatment & Recovery 60% of sexual addicts were the victims of child abuse. Additionally, neurochemistry of an individual may predetermine the condition.
There is also a relationship between depression, anxiety, OCD, and Attention Disorders to Sexual Addiction. The progression of a SA theoretically begins early in life through adolescent experimentation and self-stimulation, or premature introduction to pornography and other sexual stimulants. Social conditioning, imprinting and developmental impairments may also be factors.
Sex becomes a dominant, exhilarating fascination very early on and the addiction increases. Others may start later in life—during graduate school, divorce, or when anxiety and nervous tension become so acute that an escape is needed. It turns into an effective form of self-medication, and another way to cope with the demands of life.
Consequences of Sexual Addiction
There are many consequences which result from sexual addiction. This includes the ‘social cost’; sexual preoccupation can lead to loss of friendship and family relationships. Anxiety and stress are a general theme in the lives of sex addicts, as they live with the ‘constant fear of discovery’.
Guilt and shame are also commonplace, as the addict’s lifestyle is mostly at odds with personal values and beliefs. Compulsive sexual thoughts and/or behavior leads to ‘severe depression, often with suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, shame, self-hatred, hopelessness, despair, helplessness, intense anxiety, loneliness, resentment, self pity, self blame ,moral conflict, fear of abandonment, spiritual bankruptcy, distorted thinking, remorse, and self-deceit’.
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